Acro-yoga as a model to the coaching and counseling process -- Part 1

 First, what is 'Acro-yoga'?  According to wikipedia, it is "is a physical practice that combines yoga and acrobatics."  It is also an activity that involves three persons:  the base, flyer and the spotter.

Here's an example from the wiki article.

There are more images in the wiki link.  You can search for images and find similar pictures and videos.  The pictures clearly demonstrate the roles of each of the persons involved as well as what it looks like when done well.

What does that have to do with Christian Neuro-diverse counseling and coaching?  To understand that you need to understand our model.  Dr. Stephanie puts it this way: "There are 3 steps to our process and well before what would be considered typical marriage work begins, both persons in the relationship are doing individual work.  This individual work requires accountability for both persons.  When  the husband is the ND person, my husband, Dan, will work as a coach to help the husband stay on course and stay accountable."

Step 1 is called "Educate".  It is at this place both partners need to accept the reality.  If it is neurodiversity in the form of AS or ADHD or anxiety or whatever else, denying that reality creates an unstable foundation.  Based on the image above it is clear that the foundation needs to be stable or the form collapses and injury is likely.

This model works because of how most couples and marriages present when they come to us.  Dr. Stephanie describes that this way:  "Many times I am at least the 4th counselor the couple has seen.  When the wife is the NT person, she is usually worn down and sometimes even experiencing trauma.  The individual work is necessary because the relationship is barely hanging on and before they can grow together they need to grow and heal separately".

So, using the acro-yoga as a picture of the relationship, you see their are two distinct persons and their relationship is measured by their pose.  In these images we see the final product; we don't see the practice it takes to get there.  That practice included many failures and perhaps injuries.

In order to achieve the pose, they needed to growth both individually and together.  Individually, they need to increase their strength, balance, stamina and flexibility and demonstrate that growth to each other.  As they grow individually, when it is time to practice together, it becomes easier because they are not stumbling over their weaknesses; those have matured since the last practice and that continued individual work builds on itself.

In both acro-yoga and a relationship, you are only as strong as the trust you have in each other.  No matter how strong you are individually, if there isn't trust, there won't be practice nor will there be a completed pose.  The individual growth gives each person the opportunity to demonstrate that growth.  Trust grows naturally from that repeated demonstration.

Let's talk about each role in acro-yoga and it's parallel in a relationship.

The base:  In most of the images, it is the man that is the base.  This is typically because of his physical strength.  As the base (foundation), it is imperative that he remain strong and steady.  The pose collapses if he deviates, hesitates or fails.  That collapse is a great risk to the flyer.

The flyer: This is the woman.  She is 'featured'. What the man is in foundation, the woman is in display, artistry and elegance.  This is poise.  This is grace under pressure.  She is trusting.  Her best is enabled by the confidence she has in her foundation.

The spotter:  This is the Holy Spirit.  The wiki article says it this way, "The spotter can also make recommendations to the Base and Flyer to improve their form."  The Holy Spirit is with each of the persons individually and also as a couple.  He is there as guidance and warning.  He is there to see God's best on display for the world to bring others into a relationship with Him.

Much more can be said on each of the three roles.  Look for blogs about each role soon.